Dena and Rodger

It’s great to meet you! We are Rodger and Dena from a beach community in Southern California. Along with our two-year-old son Clay, we are thrilled at the prospect of welcoming a daughter and sister into our family of three.

We’re basically two outgoing, confident goofballs who see life as one big adventure and want to live every day to its fullest. Dena is the bubbly, buoyant, never-ending optimist, while Rodger is the strong, quick-witted, realist of the relationship. We both value family and friendship and trust that ultimate happiness lies in the power of love and acceptance.

We officially became a multicultural family when we adopted our son Clay from Ethiopia in January 2010. We believe that love is colorblind and encourage our son to honor his African heritage by attending regular Ethiopian cultural classes. Raising our son Clay has been a total pleasure and a truly life-enhancing experience. We cannot wait to share our home and love with another child.

Quick Facts:
DENA: I have six brothers. I am the oldest sibling and the only girl (although a few of the guys are now married, so I’m not *quite* as underrepresented). One of my brothers served as an Army Combat Medic in Afghanistan. I’m very proud of his service to our country.

RODGER: After law school, I planned to work in either Chicago or Detroit, but decided on a whim to interview at one firm in Southern California. When I flew out for the interview, it was 75 degrees in November. I immediately took the job and have lived in beautiful SoCal ever since.

DENA: In my twenties, I lived in London, just a few blocks from Hyde Park and Harrod’s and very close to where Prince William and Kate Middleton were recently married.

RODGER: I am a certified SCUBA diver. During my very first ocean dive, I jumped into shark-infested water, as the sharks were circling our boat. Talk about an adrenaline rush!

DENA: My friends make fun of me for wearing pink sunglasses on my head at all times. I do it mostly to keep my hair out of my eyes. And because I love pink!

RODGER: I have played sports my whole life. I was a championship golfer and played competitive baseball and basketball. These days, I still play basketball in a local lawyers’ league. Our team has been in the league finals three of the last five seasons, but has yet to win the championship; we’re hoping this will be our year.

DENA: When I was a teenager, I was a member of a hip-hop group. We performed at local dance clubs and talent shows and actually recorded a few songs.

RODGER: We often throw impromptu, informal gatherings at our home. There are always lots of kids and a fair amount of noise. And I can be found manning the BBQ almost every weekend.

DENA: I LOVE Mexican and El Salvadorian food. I’ll gladly drive an hour or more, just to enjoy a delicious pupusa.

Meet Dena (Written by Rodger)
The first time I met Dena, her good looks and vivaciousness literally took my breath away. Once I got to know her, I realized that Dena’s extraordinary beauty is so much more than skin deep; she is the most caring and compassionate person I’ve ever met and she has blossomed into an incredible mother.

Dena has an energy and enthusiasm that is simply infectious. She “gets” people and has the ability to befriend anyone, but she’s remained loyal to her large circle of close girlfriends for many years. Dena is the person all her friends and family turn to for advice. She’s a fantastic listener and has an uncanny ability to make everyone feel like he or she is the most special person in the world.

In addition to her love of children, Dena adores animals and has been involved with animal rescue organizations for as long as I’ve known her. Dena often brings home lost or abandoned animals and, if appropriate, nurses them back to health. She rescued our dog Maxwell nine years ago and he’s been our “first-born child” ever since.

It’s almost unfair that someone as beautiful and talented as Dena is also so brilliant. She possesses an uncommon combination of book smarts and street smarts that make her truly wise beyond her years. None of Dena’s many accomplishments, however, holds a candle to her unbelievable parenting skills. Quite simply, Dena was born to be a mother. Although she’s always had an exceptional gift with children, I am continually amazed at how magnificent she is with our son, Clay. From the moment Clay was placed in her arms, Dena was a natural. I’ve never seen a parent so consistently happy to spend time with her child or a child so happy to be with his mother. And I know Dena’s heart (and my own) will expand even more to welcome another special child into our family.

Meet Rodger (Written by Dena)
I met Rodger in May of 2000, while we were both studying for the bar exam. At the time, I had a boyfriend and, when Rodger asked me out to lunch, I answered with a firm, “No.” Rodger was not deterred; instead, he kept asking again and again. He even passed me notes in class that said, “Pretty please?” At one point, I actually said, “I will never date you.” Seven months later, I broke up with my boyfriend and, on Christmas Eve, called Rodger to ask if I could take him up on his offer. Our first official date was on New Year’s Eve and we’ve been together ever since.

Rodger is always the life of the party. He makes friends easily and works hard to maintain those friendships. He can make me laugh so hard that I snort. Children naturally gravitate to Rodger, and seeing him as a father makes my heart swell with pride and joy. Rodger is a fantastic, active dad who is equally comfortable playing “tickle monster” on the floor or snuggling on the couch. He loves reading to Clay and is great at making funny noises and sounds, which inevitably elicit lots of belly laughs.

Throughout his life, Rodger has demonstrated extraordinary focus and perseverance. He excelled in academics, earning the honor of valedictorian of his high school. After graduating from college and law school, Rodger joined a large, internationally-respected law firm, where he quickly worked his way up to partnership level. Rodger’s job has allowed us financial security and a lifestyle that provides everything we’ve always dreamed and hoped for our family.

Rodger is the best man I’ve ever met. He is funny and brilliant (such a great combination!) and constantly amazes me with his unwavering loyalty and support. After nearly eleven years as partners, we love each other more than ever and our love continues to grow every day. (Corny, but true.)

The Most Important Little Man in Our Life . . . Meet Clay!
Our son Clay recently turned two. We adopted him from Ethiopia in January 2010. At the time, Clay was almost eight months old and was described by his orphanage caregivers as “the most laid-back baby here.” Clay is pretty chill, but it turns out he’s also a total character; in fact, his art teacher calls him “the class clown.” Sure enough, Clay makes us laugh every day! He has a large “dress-up drawer” full of funny hats and costumes that he likes to wear around the house while dancing and singing songs. And believe us when we say, the kid can dance. He has some sweet moves.

Clay also has a very kind, tender side. He adores cuddling and always asks for “more hugs!” He often says, “Wuh woo [love you], Mama!” or “Wuh woo, Dada!” and even likes to add, “Wuh woo, Max!” (Max is our dog, who has quickly become Clay’s BFF.) Clay is super aware of other’s feel¬ings and is quick to provide comfort to anyone who’s upset. We know he’ll be an incredibly car¬ing, generous (and protective!) big brother.

Clay’s a smart, active little guy who’s currently enrolled in gym class, art class, music class, and swim class. He’ll also be starting preschool in the fall. We’re hoping to send him to a very well-regarded “co-op” school in our neighborhood, where Dena will be able to volunteer one day per week. Luckily, the school allows younger brothers and sisters to join in the fun, so Dena won’t have to leave Clay’s little sister home with a babysitter.

Some of Clay’s Favorite Activities Include

• Daily long walks with the dog, often along the beach or walking trails in our neighborhood.
• Going to the park! We have tons of parks near our home and we spend almost every afternoon going down slides and pushing our little guy on the swings.
• Hitting on the ladies. No matter where we go, Clay always finds a cute girl to follow around. If a girl ignores him, he’ll get *in her face* and say “HI!” very loudly. We’re still working on personal space boundaries. :)
• Eating! Clay loves to help Dena bake cookies and other yummy treats! But he’ll eat pretty much anything . . . except chocolate. (We know – it’s crazy, right?!)
• Being in the water. We live at the beach and have a splash table and a small pool in our backyard, and Clay asks to swim every day. Luckily, we live in Southern California, so the weather cooperates almost year-round.

Our Careers
Although we’ve both been fortunate enough to enjoy successful careers, we do not see work as the focus of our lives. Instead, family comes first for us. We both feel passionately about giving back to others. We volunteer with various charities, including an organization helping to build schools in Africa. We also recently formed a nonprofit foundation to advocate for—and provide financial assistance to—orphans. We look forward to growing this project and helping as many children as possible.

By Rodger: I work as a partner at a law firm. I enjoy my career and work hard to provide for my family. However, even though I have a very “serious job,” I live for the weekends and for spending time with my family and friends.

By Dena: Since we adopted Clay, I’ve had the privilege of becoming a full-time, stay-at-home mom. Our days are filled with laughter, learning, and love and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world that I’ve been afforded the luxury of time with my child. Prior to becoming a mom, I enjoyed a successful, fulfilling career as an attorney and public servant. One of the highlights of my career was developing a program that diverted homeless individuals out of the criminal justice system and into services, including housing as well as drug, alcohol, and/or mental health treatment.

Home and Community: Where We Live
We live in our dream house: a Mediterranean-style home on a street overlooking the ocean, with breathtaking panoramic views of the Los Angeles skyline. We were drawn to L.A. for the fantastic weather and the beach as well as the progressive thinking and open-minded nature of the people in this city. We appreciate the opportunity to socialize with numerous multicultural families and we enjoy close friendships with people of many different colors and ethnicities.

The windows of our baby nursery face a large park across the street and, behind the park, we can watch the boats coming and going from the nearby marina. We moved to our current neighborhood in part because we admire and appreciate the racial and cultural diversity it offers. We have neighbors who are doctors, lawyers, entertainers, and professional athletes of all sizes, shapes, and colors, and we appreciate the example these successful professionals set for our son as well as our future child(ren). We plan to provide our children with the finest educational possibilities available, including college and graduate school at the universities of their choice—and our community offers excellent options for schools at all levels.

Our neighborhood is surrounded by a federally-protected nature reserve, so we are fortunate enough to live in one of the few pristine, undeveloped coastal areas of Southern California. We can (and do!) walk or ride our bikes to the beach often and we also take advantage of the numerous paved hiking trails in the area. We also spend a lot of time at the many parks in our neighborhood, several of which offer free children’s programming and concerts.

One of our favorite things about living in Southern California is our close proximity to a variety of family-friendly entertainment options. In addition to the beach and boating/water activities, we are a very short drive from Disneyland (and we have annual passes!), Universal Studios, Legoland, Pacific Park at the Santa Monica Pier, Magic Mountain (Six Flags), Griffith Park Observatory, La Brea Tar Pits, Medieval Times, Knot’s Berry Farm, children’s museums and theaters, popular ski resorts and renowned zoos and aquariums.

Our Supportive Community: Friends and Family
RODGER’S FRIENDS: I’ve had the same five best friends since high school/ college. Although we all live in different parts of the country, we gather in the Midwest every summer for a guys-only golf trip. As the years pass, we inevitably end up going to sleep earlier and earlier, but we still have a blast!

DENA’S FRIENDS: I am lucky to have AMAZING, loyal girlfriends. I’ve been best friends with Michelle since I was six. In junior high, we each had a heart necklace that said “best friends.” When I married my husband, she was my maid of honor. Naomi and I have been best friends since the 10th grade. She is the funniest, craziest person I’ve ever met. I’ve known my three local, SoCal BFFs, Marie, Leann, and Annie for about 8 years. We call ourselves the DTMT (long story) and we’re all smart, accomplished women who are there for each other through thick and thin.

We were both raised in the Midwest, but in very different families. Dena has six (!) brothers and an enormous extended family, including dozens of cousins, aunts, and uncles. Rodger has a small extended family, consisting of one sister and one aunt.

DENA’S FAMILY still resides in the Midwest; however, we see them often (usually at least once a month). Dena has a fantastic relationship with her mother and they speak on the phone every day. Dena’s also especially close to her younger brother, Barrett. Dena’s extended family enjoys spending time together on an annual ski trip, a yearly vacation at a lake resort, and at the family’s large ranch in Missouri, which includes a river and a ghost town!

ROGER’S PARENTS moved to the southwest after they retired. We are lucky to live just a few hours away from each other and are able to see them every few weeks. We especially enjoy vacationing at their home, which is located on a golf course in a gorgeous resort community. We also enjoy visiting Rodger’s aunt and sister back in the Midwest, where the family owns a working horse farm.

Holidays: Our neighborhood (and our family) goes all out to celebrate the holidays!
At Christmas-time, our street lights up with festive decorations! Dena goes all out, putting up multiple Christmas trees throughout our home (last year, we had five!). And our neighborhood participates in a unique Christmas boat parade, where everyone decorates their boats and Santa makes a special appearance via yacht! At our house, we design fun Christmas crafts (including our own homemade ornaments) and bake lots and lots of cookies to share with our neighbors! Of course, on Christmas Eve, we set out some of the cookies for Santa. He must really like cookies, because he always leaves us oodles of toys and books!

On Halloween, a few of our neighbors host haunted houses and everyone sits out on their porches to hand out candy to the tons of kids who live nearby. Our house is usually one of the most elaborately decorated on the street and Dena’s Halloween village collection gets bigger every year. And we wouldn’t want to forget the costume parties! We love getting dressed up and checking out what everyone else is wearing.

To celebrate Easter, our neighbors take turns hosting egg-decorating parties. We also participate in a super fun neighborhood Easter egg hunt! Of course, we bake cookies and dye our own eggs, too! And the Easter bunny leaves us baskets full of goodies!

For the 4th of July, we decorate our strollers, wagons, and bicycles and enjoy a neighborhood parade and picnic, as well as a splashy fireworks display that can be seen from our street.

How we’ll raise your child . . . Our Ideas on Parenting
Becoming Clay’s parents was a dream come true for us. Now, more than anything, we want to make our family and our lives complete by bringing home a little sister for Clay.

We are so excited to raise a daughter. Dena is a major girly-girl and cannot wait to finally decorate a nursery in her favorite color – pink! She also looks forward to hair bows, tutus, frilly undies, ballet classes, and Barbie dolls.

As we have done with Clay, we promise to educate your child about her culture and make sure she is proud of her background and her heritage.

We Hope to Teach Your Daughter To . . .

• Tap dance, do a perfect pirouette, and perform a swag-tastic Dougie dance
• Throw a fast ball in baseball and make a three-point basketball shot
• Make a killer double-fudge chocolate cake (from scratch)
• Outrun and/or outsmart any boy, any time
• Braid her friends’ hair
• Canter on horseback
• Surf a wave, sail a boat and steer a jet ski
• Speak a second language
• Know exactly what’s going on during a football game
• Master the art of double-dutch jump rope
• Properly care for and love a pet
• Make and keep lifelong friends
• Find all the “hidden Mickeys” at Disneyland
• Always give back by volunteering for worthy causes

We Promise As Parents . . .

• To create a safe, secure, and healthy home for your child
• To love your child unconditionally every second of every day
• To put Band-Aids on scraped knees and kiss tears away
• To fill our home with laughter, love, and lots of hugs
• To help your child follow her dreams and fulfill her destiny
• To surround your child with our supportive friends and family
• To build a foundation of faith and spirituality for your child
• To encourage your child to uncover her hidden talents
• To make plenty of time for playing, make-believe, and bedtime stories
• To teach your child how to lead a compassionate life and to give back to others
• To nurture your child’s creativity and individual personality
• To give your child every opportunity to learn about the world
• To provide your child with the education she deserves
• To tell your baby how much she is loved by you as well as anything else you would like her to know about you
• To give you the option of receiving letters and pictures of the child’s development in the future
• To cherish your baby forever and always be grateful for the unselfish sacrifice you made

We wish you strength, wisdom, and peace as you make this difficult decision. Thank you for considering us!

Dena and Rodger

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