Choose A Family : Parent Profile
Darcy
Dear Birthmother,
Wow! What can I say to express my admiration for and awe of your strength and courage during this time of your life? Your sacrifice of love is inspiring and touching. I cannot imagine the thoughts in your head, but your heart full of devotion is evident. I wish you peace as you make this difficult choice, whatever that choice may be.
Thank you for reading my letter—I hope it will give you a glimpse into my life and my heart so you can have more information as you make this decision for your child. I look forward to getting to know you too, and hope that we can get to know each other to whatever extent you are comfortable.
Why I am Here with You
I feel such peace and energy about my decision to adopt. I took time to carefully make this decision---I have read all the blogs, been on the all the message boards, joined the local and national groups for single and adoptive mothers, talked to many single mothers by choice, prayed and discussed this with wise people. My final decision was the same as my first, instinctive decision: adoption just felt right. I think the decision was already in my heart. While I will welcome the right man to be a husband and father in the future, I am ready to be a mother now.
As a single woman, I have considered carefully the people, resources and skills I will need to give this child the nurturing and guidance he or she will need. I have asked numerous friends and relatives to be “uncles” to your child so he or she can have strong and positive male influences; each has given an enthusiastic YES and said what an honor it will be for them to do so. My friends, family and parents are serious about the role they will play in the life of this child being raised by a single parent. Many of my friends have children and have offered me what they know my child and I will need--whether it be time, wisdom or a play date on a rainy day. My crew of “cheerleaders”, as they call themselves now, will become the uncles, aunties and cousins that will surround your child with love and support as he or she grows.
Growing Up Me
Exploring the creek down the street, going to summer camp, playing kickball in the street with the neighbor families, making afterschool snacks with my mom, and jumping ocean waves with my dad….this was my childhood. My sister and I feel asleep to my dad singing “Good night, ladies” and had breath-holding contests in the pool. My parents taught us the important things in life: the beauty of unconditional love, the value of family, faith, hard work, responsibility, the importance of education and the necessity of laughter, fun, hugs and family dinners around the table. We had very few worries as our parents let us just be children.
One set of grandparents lived in town so I spent my days walking the river trails with my grandfather, collecting aluminum cans before anyone had heard of recycling. My grandmother was sick my whole childhood so I was able to witness the love and dignity my grandfather and mother poured upon her. It was tough on all of them, but, together as a family, they made it through. My other grandparents lived in Southern California so they took us to the Rose Parade every year and taught me all the fun card games. We grew up playing cards and board games and still love to do this as a family!
My parents made sure that, while I worked hard in school and learned respect for others, I also had some amazing opportunities: soccer, cheerleading, swim team and skiing. I went to church youth group, took horseback riding lessons and dance classes and went on amazing family trips – even a surprise trip to Disneyland! I can’t wait to share memories like this with your child someday.
Inside my Head and Heart
Now that I am older, I appreciate the incredible gift my parents gave me by raising me with expectations and the support to achieve them. In the midst of our fun and silliness, my parents showed their love by teaching us life lessons and guiding us in the right ways. My sister and I both were expected to work hard at any task, to treat elders with respect and others with dignity, to consider others before ourselves, and to contribute to society.
Working as a counselor at a middle school, I get to see firsthand the outcomes of different types of parenting. Clearly it takes love, patience, firmness, consistency, forgiveness and humor. The adolescent years are particularly difficult but the families that get through the best seem to be the ones that laid a foundation of loving guidance from the beginning. Those children have resilience, purpose, confidence, compassion and strong friendships. In order to raise a child with these qualities, I plan to use the tools I have gained from helping students and families in crisis.
The importance of education was one of the cornerstones of my development that I will pass along to your child. I think it worked; my sister is a doctor and I work in a school! My mother’s parents started a legacy where the grandparents pay for college, so the expense of college is already taken care of for all my children. I will then fund college for my grandchildren someday.
The Cheerleaders —My Friends and Family
My parents (soon to be Grammy and Grampy!) are thrilled with my decision to adopt. They are very ready to spoil their first in-town grandchild!
My parents, married now for 46 years, live only 15 minutes away. They are wonderful grandparents to my sister’s three children; they fly to Southern California to visit my niece and nephews so they don’t miss any softball games, school plays, or birthdays. My niece and nephews love the surprises Grammy hides in her suitcase and the kids perform amazing magic tricks with Grampy! By spending so much time with their grandparents, my niece and nephews have been given a family heritage—one that values extended family, highlights the commitments of relationships and reminds them of the love and dedication of their grandparents.
We spend a lot of time at our cabin in the mountains, right on the edge of a small lake. In the summer we swim, sail, hike, treasure hunt on the island, canoe and get mosquito bites! Every year on Lake Game Days we do water balloon tosses, a huge tug-of-war in the water, potato sack races (my niece and nephews always win ribbons in this one!) and have a chili cook-off. It is family fun the old-fashioned way. The winters are full of snowman building, sledding, skiing, hot chocolate by the fire, and beautiful white Christmases. Our family memories at the cabin are so sweet.
I am also close with my cousins---and love seeing them often! One cousin and her family live in town so I get to babysit her son and enjoy “Music in the Park” picnics with them. This last year a bunch of us (18!) went to Hawaii where we played in the water all day and bar-be-qued on the beach every night.
I am Aunt Darcy to many of my friends’ children. My friends are eager to include my child in their tribe of children that have regular sleepovers, go to pool princess or pirate parties, jump on trampolines and carve pumpkins together. I am a regular in the stands or the audience for games and recitals of my friends’ kids. I love developing relationships with each and every one of them.
The Life I Love
I love working at a middle school as the counselor; my job is to make sure all the students are doing great. I am honored to listen and help as the students share with me their struggles of being adolescents. A school-day work schedule means I will be home when your child is home so we can enjoy our afterschool snack together and do homework at the kitchen table. Plus, we’ll both have all summer off—I am already imagining our adventures!
I also love SCUBA diving, playing tennis, kayaking, campfires and bbqs! I recently started snow shoeing and look forward to the snow each year so I can get out there! Every day I spend some time either by the fire or in the hammock, reading a great book---this is a love my parents developed in me that I hope to share with your child. Every week I volunteer at a community center where I tutor and mentor two fifth grade girls— this joy of giving to others is something I plan to pass along to a child.
Travelling and crazy adventures in foreign countries has been a passion of mine for a long time. I have been lucky enough to kayak in Antarctica, sing with children in Africa, motorscooter in Viet Nam, snorkel in Israel, cave tube in Belize, and eaten my way through France, Italy, England, Greece and the rest of Europe! How fun it will be to share this love of the world with a child—to watch him or her explore and even eat some very interesting food!
I own a house in northern California in a wonderful, established neighborhood on a tree-lined street, with swings in the trees of the houses on each side of mine. Just a block away is a fabulous park---complete with a pirate ship play structure, rose garden, tennis courts and a pond with LOUD ducks! The outdoor “Movies in the Park” are my favorite summer tradition and are perfect for picnic dinners and snuggling up under blankets. The river is close by too for summer swimming, boating and fishing. I live in northern California so I am less than 2 hours from the ocean or the mountains all the time. Yosemite, San Francisco, Malibu, and Carmel are regular vacation spots for me.
My Dream
I am eager to begin the life of selfless devotion that parenting requires and to be rewarded by watching a child blossom into a wonderful young person. To share life with your child will be an amazing journey.
My dream:
To change diapers and cuddle my crying baby in my arms—even on no sleep!
To teach him or her how to blow a bubble and build a fire.
To mend a broken heart and wipe a tear.
To stay up late finishing a crazy science project and even later watching shooting stars.
To hug. To forgive. To pray for. To cry with.
To splash in the bathtub. Chalk on the driveway. Roll down the hill.
To memorize multiplication flashcards, practice please and thank you, and learn how to change the car oil.
To love, cherish, and adore.
These are what I yearn to share with your child.
I can’t wait!
Thanky for reading all this…I am eager to get to know you as well and begin this journey alongside you.
I imagine you have a million thoughts going through your head right now. It’s my hope that something I’ve shared has touched your heart and helped you see a future for your child that you want for him or her. I would be honored to make your dreams my dreams, and to provide the kind of life for your child that you must for them.
If you have any questions for me, or would like to talk to me about adopting your child, please contact an AdoptHelp advisor by Calling 1-800-637-7999 or clicking the "Contact Me" button below.
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